SUNG TO THE TUNE OF “THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN'”

You keep saying you’ve got something for me.
something you call fastballs, but confess.

You’ve been tearin’ somethin’ you shouldn’t be tearin’
ya know it’s the Ulnar Collateral Ligament.

This dirt is made for rubbing, and that’s just what we’ll do
one of these days we’ll rub our gritty dirt all over you.

You keep hangin’ when you oughta be sliding
and you keep losin’ velocity as well.

You keep slurvin’ when you oughta be curving.
Not even a week for your ligament to rest.

This dirt is made for rubbing, and that’s just what we’ll do
one of these days we’ll rub our gritty dirt all over you.

You keep throwin’ when you shouldn’t be throwing
and you keep thinkin’ that you’ll never get hurt.

Ha! I just found me a brand new gritty lunch pail YEAH
and I’m rubbin’ all over your UCL with dirt.

Are you ready dirt? Start rubbin’!

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SUNG TO THE TUNE OF “THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN'”